Life, Death, and Library Books

It feels like I write about death a lot. I suppose it's because a Lorem Ipsum Life is a bit like dying. I lost everything and everyone I was when I got sick. Dealing with the grief of that 'death' is an important part of continuing to live. This morning I took a wee girl …

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Heads it wins, tails I lose

Am I depressed or flaring? I'm tired and can't get the energy to do anything. I feel sick. I have a headache. My stomach hurts. My mood is low and I'm having panic attacks and anxiety. I can't get to sleep but when I do I can't wake up. I want to cry but can't. …

There are many ways to say “I love you…”

I am lying in bed writing this, listening to a documentary about Fred Rogers. He's speaking to the camera, asking his audience to spend 1 minute thinking about someone who has helped us in some way, to be the person we are today, someone who has loved us and we have loved back. I could …

I want my life back.

Feeling low. I know my vit D dose is due tomorrow, so some of it will definitely relate to that. So tired. So anxious... Sad... Scared... Tired... Frustrated... Sick. Everything hurts. I can feel almost normal after sufficient rest, but doing something as little as sitting up and eating puts me back into ME mode …

How Mari Kondo’s system helped me grieve the life I lost

I've seen a lot of criticisms of the Konmari method of decluttering your life. Most of the criticisms I've read are either based on the idea that it's supposed to be one size fits all, that it suggests that everyone should be decluttering and living a minimalist lifestyle, or that throwing stuff away is bad …

August 8 – International Severe ME day and my ME heroes

I'm fortunate enough that my ME is currently only in the 'Moderate' range, meaning I can stand up on my own most of the time. I do sometimes use a walking aide/wheelchair as a way to manage my energy levels and prevent further deterioration, but I can usually stand and walk without assistance. I have …

Growing around my grief

Yesterday I buried a friend, Lois. Well, I didn't literally bury her, I left that to other more able bodied people, but I was there when it happened. She died on Monday, both suddenly and not. She had cancer; an aggressive form of pancreatic cancer which was only diagnosed, at stage 4, earlier this year. …